Ten years on and 9/11 still not funny

BREAKING NEWS

A decade after the World Trade Centre terrorist attacks, the United States Supreme Court has re-imposed a nationwide ban on 9/11 jokes.

In a landmark decision, it was decided that humorous asides relating to 9/11 are still considered “tasteless” and “too soon”.

“September 11 was a horrific day in the history of the United States of America,” Chief Justice John G. Roberts said.

“Any attempts at trivialising the event will not be tolerated. It is vitally important that this infamous moment of history remains sacred for at least another ten years.”

The legislation, first established in October 2001, will be effective until 2021. They will need to stand for a further 40 hours, though, to break the American record for the longest running event of reverence.

An examination of U.S. history reveals that JFK jokes were only permitted twenty-two years after his passing. The record, however, belongs to the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbour. This 1941 event was a taboo topic for comedians for another 60 years, until the 2001 release of the film Pearl Harbour.

In contrast, Michael Jackson jokes were already circulating without three minutes of his 2009 death.

Guilty perpetrators will face hefty fines and possible extradition to Mexico. Untrialed suspects, however, will be temporary held in Guantanamo Bay.

When probed as to how sensitive these laws would be, Roberts was surprisingly comfortable with making concessions.

“The war on terror and the Bush doctrine are completely up for grabs,” Roberts said.

“Anything said or done by George W. Bush during his tenure as President is an acceptable source of humour, even the stuff about 9/11.”

This ambiguous clarification potentially creates a loophole that the Supreme Court may need to re-consider.

Disclaimer: This article is 100% satirical and is not intended to be taken literally. The author believes that jokes about 9/11 are completely unacceptable, and does not wish to offend anybody.

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