90s rock legends rival Rebecca Black

Musicians have been writing shocking lyrics long before Ms. Black entered the arena.

Less than two months ago, Rebecca Black had us in stitches with her sincere rendition of the Bob Dylan classic, Friday.

As we all know, unanimous condemnation followed Ms. Black; critics the world over lamented the song for its cringeworthy lyrics.

Musicians, however, have been writing shocking lyrics long before this teenager entered the arena. In fact, 1997 – the year of Black’s birth – coincidently conceived a number of dreadful numbers.

Live, the alternative rock group that gave us such classics as The Dolphin’s Cry and Lightning Crashes, were one of the last bands I thought I’d be criticising. This morning, though, my praise for the band was quelled when I became acquainted with Rattlesnake, the fourth single from their double platinum, no.1 record “Secret Samadhi”.

My best guess is that the lyrics of this song are intentionally terrible; surely their poetic lead singer Ed Kowalczyk was taking the Mickey with this one. Then again, after googling the lyrics, I haven’t yet found a single criticism for the song. Am I the only one that has noticed the song’s hackneyed and forced rhymes?

So, without further ado, I present to you Rattlesnake.

Let’s go hang out in a mall, or a morgue
A smorgasbord
Let’s go hang out in a church
We’ll go find Lurch
Then we’ll haul ass down through the abbey
Is it money, it is fame
Or were they always this lame?

It’s a crazy, crazy, mixed-up town
But it’s the rattlesnake I fear
In another place, in another time
I’d be drivin’ trucks my dear

Dear, dear

Let’s go hang out in a bar
It’s not too far
We’ll take my car
We’ll lay flowers at the grave of Jesco White,
The sinner’s saint
The rack is full and so are we
Of laughing gas and ennui

It’s a crazy, crazy, mixed-up town
But it’s the rattlesnake I fear
In another place, in another time
I’d be drivin’ trucks my dear
I’d be skinnin’ hunted deer

Deer, deer

It’s a crazy, crazy, mixed-up town
But it’s the rattlesnake I fear
In another place, in another time
I’d be drivin’ trucks my dear
I’d be skinnin’ hunted deer

Deer, deer, deer…

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